The Jew, The Gentile & The Church

19 February 2009

I just want to touch on a few theological issues here. Nothing too deep I don’t think. But just a couple of things to share that have been on my mind.

I have recently finished a 31 week study on Eschatology and while I knew most of what was being taught because this is a topic I have studied for years. There were a few very crucial things that I did learn.

Something that I think is key in understanding Scripture when you’re studying eschatology that I never knew was that the Bible speaks of three groups of people. I always read it as it only spoke to two separate groups of people, Jews and Gentiles. But I learned that there is a third group of people that the Bible refers to and that is the Church. This makes a world of difference when it comes to understanding key texts. It has really brought things into a much clearer light.

So, we have the Jews, the Church and the Gentiles. The Jews have been God’s chosen people right along. This was something that I have always believed. I know that God is a God of covenants and that He is the God of the Jews. The whole Old testament is written to the Jews. Jesus was a Jew. Almost all the books of the New Testament were written by Jews. The only book in question is possibly the Gospel of Luke, but even then, I guess there’s not much evidence to prove that he was not Jewish either.

God has made everlasting covenants with Israel and I firmly believe that He intends to keep those promises. But in the Old Testament He does refer to the Gentile nations. He does say that He is the God of all. And of course in the New Testament we have the Gospel of John which is specifically written to the Gentiles. And we have the Apostle Paul who mainly went to the Gentile nations to bring the Good News of the Gospel.

The Gospel which is to bring people into the Church is for all, the Jew and the Gentile. So the Church is made up of the two groups. But the Bible specifically speaks of the Gentiles being grafted into the Olive Tree. The Book of Revelation is written as God’s judgment on the Jews as well as on the Gentiles. But the Church will not be left in the picture. The Church will have been raptured out of the scene. Jesus has specifically saved the church for Himself to be His Bride. While the Jews are spoken of as being God’s wife in the Old Testament, the Church is Christ’s Bride in the New Testament.

The Bride will be removed from the earth before the Great Tribulation as discussed in 2 Thessalonians as well as in Corinthians when it says that we will all be changed in the twinkling of an eye. But those that are left behind, those that remain on the earth will be given the full wrath of God which Jesus has paid the price for His Bride, the Church.

The folks left behind for the Great Tribulation are going to be given the opportunity to come to Christ during each of the judgments. God gives them every last chance that He can. While He will be pouring out His judgment He will also be calling His own to Himself.

This is all very fascinating and as I said I just wanted to touch on the topic. To explain that there are three groups of people spoken of in the Bible. This makes reading it so much clearer. So many things make much more sense now. I can’t believe that I never saw that before. In my 28 years of studying the Bible I have never heard of such a thing and I never picked it up for myself.

This seems to explain why the book “The Words and Works of Jesus Christ” by J. Dwight Pentecost is my favorite book. It is a book that I think every new Christian should be required to read. Especially those of us that do not come from a Jewish background. This book explains everything that Jesus said and did for Jewish reasons. Mr. Pentecost explains the Jewish meanings behind everything that Christ did. The timing of the things He did, the meaning behind the things He said. This book has been my favorite book since I read it. And now that I am aware of the three groups of people. I want to read the book again because I know I will get that much more out of the book.

It truly is a great book and if you are interested at all in understanding the real and Jewish meanings behind the things Jesus did and said, this is a must read. It’s an old book and out of print. But it can be found through the used books at Amazon and I’m sure at other websites as well. As I said, I think it is a book that every new believer should be required to read and especially if he does not come from a Jewish background.

I really don’t know the whole point to this blog except that I just wanted to share some information that I’ve learned. And to lead you to a book to read if you really want to understand the New Testament even better. Read the Bible with the three groups of people in mind and you will see that Scripture makes much more sense. And if you can find the book by Mr. Pentecost, I suggest you read that as well as it will give you a Jewish perspective of Jesus works and words.

So for now…

Father’s Day

15 June 2008

First let me wish all of you fathers out there a very happy Father’s Day. I truly do mean it but it is one of the hardest days of the year for me. I hate Father’s Day, I hate going to church on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I find them to be very painful days. Today was no different. I almost lost it in church today. I sat there with tears filling my eyes several times, runny nose, the only thing I didn’t do was actually burst out and outright cry.

I find it to be such a painful day and it gets worse every year. Not so much because of my relationship with my father and mother’s day not so much because of my mother. But the fact remains that it has been my hearts desire my entire life to have children. Now that I am 46 years old I know this will never happen and I find that to be very painful.

I have prayed to become straight every single day of my teen and adult life. I have prayed to get married and have a family of my own. I know I would have been a good father. I helped my sister raise her three kids. I feel jealous of my brother-in-law because now after the hard years he is in the picture and I am pushed aside. I devoted my entire life to raising those kids and what is the thanks I get for it. I feel like they should be my kids I took care of them as babies, infants, toddlers and children. I was there for every single thing that those kids needed and wanted. They went without nothing because I was there. If it had been left to my sister alone to bring up those kids God only knows how they would be today. While I don’t take all the credit I feel I wasted my life bringing them up. I wanted my own.

I still want my own family and so I find Father’s Day a very painful day to experience especially in Church because that is what the topic of the sermon always is about. The church I used to go to on Mother’s Day the Pastor’s wife always gave the sermon. It got to the point that I never went to church on Mother’s Day. Why is it so painful? Because I’m gay and I don’t want to be, I want to be normal and have a normal life and have a normal family. I so dearly wanted children that only God knows how deeply this affects me.

I realized while in church this morning that today I am finally beginning to grieve over my midlife crisis. I think that’s good. Maybe it will be over soon. I knew that grief was something I would have to experience before the midlife crisis disappeared and hopefully this is the last and final stage. It is so hard to accept the fact that I will never have children. I so desperately wanted them, I know I would have been a good father. I wanted to prove that to the world and to myself. I wouldn’t have been a father like my father. I would have encouraged my kids, I would have spent time with them, I would have protected them and the list goes on and on.

So, while I wish all you Father’s a very Happy Father’s Day I sure hope that you all realize that it’s days like today that are painful for single folks. Especially older single folks who missed out on the normal’s of life. My life from childhood up until now has been anything but normal and I have a lot to grieve but the biggest is the fact that I don’t have any kids.

I know I’m whining today and having a pity party, but that’s ok, this is my blog I can do that. Besides, I need to get it off my chest and tell somebody how I really feel. I am hurting, some days are harder than others but none are as hard as Father’s Day. It’s something that I will forever miss out on and it’s something that I so desperately wanted.

The other thing is there is no special day of the year for me. There is a special day of the year for everybody but the single adult. Yet single adults account for about 33% of our population. Of course not all those single folks don’t have children a lot of them are one parent families but there is a good number of them that do not have children. So where is the Single’s Day? Or the Aunt’s Day or the Uncle’s Day? There’s a day for mothers, fathers, & grandparents and it makes me feel like I am not important to society. They couldn’t give a hill of beans about me because I am single. Well, it’s my taxes, which are higher than families taxes, that go to pay for their children to go to school. It’s my taxes that pay for all the benefits that families get from the government but even the government doesn’t appreciate us singles.

I guess this will be another bitching blog. I didn’t mean for it to be. I just wanted to share how painful a day today is for me but I guess I got carried away. This is how I feel so this is what I’m going to post. I just don’t understand why? I didn’t want to be gay. I never did, I still don’t. I wish to God He would have answered my prayers and made me straight so I could have had a family of my own. It’s a bitter sweet time in my life and I just as soon go without the bitterness of loneliness.

So, for now…

SWM – Single White Male

4 May 2008

One more time in my life I find myself being a square in a round world. This world is meant for married couples with or without children. There is no room, no thought about the single person who is sitting or standing next to you. The single person who is in your family, the single person who lives next door, the single person in church. Yet, here in America according to the national statistics in the US Census Bureau 33.9% of men and 27.3% of women in the United States have never been married. This is quite a significant number of people, in my humble opinion. So why is this group of people largely ignored? My main focus is why is this group of people mainly ignored in the Christian Church especially in light of what Paul says about singleness:

1Co 7:6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command.

1Co 7:7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

1Co 7:8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.

1Co 7:32 One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;

1Co 7:33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,

1Co 7:34 and his interests are divided.

What Paul is saying here is that it is better to be single than it is to be married. Yet the church puts such an emphasis on marriage that if you are not married you are a freak. You feel like a freak and you are treated like a freak.

I have been a Christian for 27 years almost 28 years now and I have never once heard a sermon preached on or about being single. I have heard sermons preached on just about every other topic there is but singleness is largely ignored in the church. And what is done about and for the singles is called the Singles Group which is nothing more than a place for single Christians to get together and meet potential mates. It is not meant or geared towards the older single Christian who has been single their whole lives and has passed their prime.

I think the average Christian has no regard towards the single person. They have no idea what it’s like, they have no idea the struggles. Sure they can say, well yes, I understand I was single once too. Yes, so you were but you are not anymore and you have a wife and children. You do not know what it is like to go through life without a wife and children. Being in my midlife crisis I have to mourn the fact that I never got married and that I will never have children. It is not an easy thing when you realize you will never have children. It is a dream almost every person has as a young kid themselves. They all talk about some day having a family of their own and what they will and will not do. This is just common talk and I believe it is normal and a normal expectation. But married folks do not understand the unique problems that are faced on a daily basis for a single person.

I will list a few of them here. First of all it is hard to own your own home. You not only have to take care of the inside but you have to take care of the outside too. There is nobody to share these responsibilities with and yet they are the same responsibilities that come with buying a house as a married couple. Then there is the fact of eating and cooking. It is much easier to cook for more than one person than it is for just one person. Going shopping is a chore to figure out just how much of what you need so you don’t make too much. If you make too much you either have to throw some of it away or you have to eat it the whole week every single day. This gets rather boring after years of doing it.

Another issue that is faced is the fact that the single person does have to do the shopping by themselves. Whether it is for clothing, supplies or food once again it is not a chore that is shared the whole process has to be fit into the busy schedule of taking care of the home.

I could make the list a lot longer but I think you get the idea. Married people have to realize that there are two of them to accomplish the same things that there is only one single person to accomplish the same exact things and still maintain a healthy life. And of course what happens when a single person gets sick. S/he cannot just lie in bed all day long and expect their spouse to handle all the problems that arise during the day. No even sick you have no choice but to make sure everything is done and looked after no matter how bad you feel.

But the worse part in my humble opinion is whether you have one friend or a hundred friends the bottom line is you go home alone at night and have to sleep alone. Married people do not understand how lonely it can get. They have an intimacy that a single person does not have and has never experienced but has longed for their entire life. Whether a person has chosen to be single or the Lord has made that choice for them, being single is not a bed of roses like most married folks think it is.

It is also expected of the single person to volunteer and help out the married family when they need an extra hand. This is all fine and dandy and we surely do not mind lending a hand. But then the favor needs to be returned. I can tell you over the years I have helped so many people I cannot count how many yet the times I have needed help I can count on one hand the time I have actually had somebody come along and help me carry the load.

Once again, there is a lot more to this than I care to say. I think I’ll end the bitching here because that is what it sounds like I am doing. But in reality I am only trying to get the other half to realize that life is not all peachy keen for the single person either.

Of course there are benefits to being single too. Things that no married person can enjoy. Such as being able to travel the world. Being able to go where you want to when you want to and not have to worry about taking money or food out of anybody’s mouths. There is also the impulsive shopping and the extra indulgences that one gets to have when they are single. Not to mention that we are free to come and go as we please without having to get permission from anybody or if we are late getting home there is nobody there waiting for a “good” explanation.

You’re not obligated to commitments that your spouse has made for you. You are allowed to pick and chose what commitments you’re going to make and what commitments you’re not going to make.

So there are a lot of benefits to being single. I am not complaining about them. I just think that the married folks have to realize there is a whole large group of people they are ignoring.

It would be nice to be invited to family functions, to be included with other family affairs to be shown love to be shared love. Married folks, especially families waste a lot of food. They throw away leftovers because nobody will eat them or wants them. What is wrong in offering these leftovers to the single person you know. It would be a welcome change for a different meal. It would be nice if the married folks would offer help a hand or an ear. I can tell you it is very rare that a married person wants to hear the problems of a single person because they are too busy complaining about all the stresses that they have that we just don’t understand and how lucky we are that we are single.

What has brought on this rant today? Well let me tell you. It’s nothing more than the fact that the Pastor at church announced that he is going to be doing a series for married folks. I am so sick and tired of going to church and hearing series upon series of sermons geared for the married crowd and there is never even one or two sermons let alone series on being single. I know how to be married, I know all the things I should and should not do, I know what Jesus expects and what the Bible requires of a married person. How do I know all this you may be asking yourself since I just admitted I’ve never been married? Well, I know all this because I have sat through series upon series upon series of sermons geared towards the marriage that I could preach a series on it myself.

I stand corrected I believe it was the Sunday School teacher who mentioned the series on marriage not the Pastor. But either way the topic gets to be old hat no matter where I sit. And to be totally honest with you there are times I just want to skip church and/or go to another church during one of these series just because I want to be fed also. And I am sick and tired of learning how to be married.