04/12/2008
You know I can be a very naïve person there are so many things that I just don’t get and then all of a sudden I realize what it means and I’m like wow all these years I thought it meant that or I never knew that or whatever. I also am very gullible I am easily fooled into believing what somebody is telling me as fact when they are just pulling my leg. And of course there are times they believe what they are saying and so do I only to find out it was wrong information in the first place.
Anyway, this “Do unto others” saying is something we grew up with. I have always taken it to mean “Do unto others and they will do unto you.” I thought if I gave you a glass of milk, next time I am thirsty you’ll offer me something to drink. Not a good example but I think it conveys my interpretation.
In all reality the saying, without going to look it up is more like this “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” And the key words there are “would have” meaning they aren’t necessarily going to reciprocate the same gesture. This must be where Jesus comes in and says to turn the other cheek. In other words you can be kind to others but don’t be surprised if they slap you in the face and instead of slapping them back we are to still treat them as we would want to be treated.
I have kept and lived by the saying “do unto others” my entire life and I always got disappointed when I was treated like shit. It just hit me today that this is what Jesus was talking about. Isn’t that ridicules? It took me 46 years to finally understand this saying. Folks are not going to treat me the way I would want them to but I am to treat them the way I want them to treat me. Wow! That’s powerful.
I guess this is where I get the “you reap what you sow” saying wrong as well. I thought if I sowed good seed I would get a crop of good plants in return and yet I always got weeds instead. While I have reaped what I’ve sowed when I have done bad things, I have very rarely reaped any benefits out of the good that I have done. I guess God is saving that for eternity, at least I hope so. I hope I’m not living this way in vain. As Paul so well puts it if Christ were not real, we Christians are to be the most pitied amongst men.
I don’t want to get into specifics because I don’t want to hurt any feelings so I will try to say this as tactfully and as discreetly as I can without the person knowing who I’m talking about. Although, if the shoe fits then wear it. But there are quite a lot of folks who treat me like shit and I tend to avoid those people as much as I can. It’s not hard for me to do because I am such a recluse. And when I’m visiting somebody like my parents for example if somebody else comes in I always get up and leave. I do not stick around I disappear as fast as I can. I just cannot handle too many people at one time.
Anyway, there are plenty of folks but for today I am hurt by something that somebody said to me. I asked this person to do me a favor and instead of just saying no I got a line of bull. And I know it was a line of bull because this person does this for other folks. I know for a fact. And not only that but this person made a very rude comment about what I asked to make it seem not important. But to me it is important if it weren’t I wouldn’t have asked. And the reason this bothers me so much is because I know for a fact if I was asked I would have done it. Whether or not I wanted to do it because it was something that was very easy and would have only taken five minutes of this person’s time. And to make such a snotty comment really just pisses me off royally. But you know what, like usual I am going to forgive, I never forget, but I will forgive and I will do the same thing again at a later date. I never learn my lesson. I repeatedly do the same thing over and over again with the same people. I tell myself that I will not ask this person in the future but I do. I guess the reason I do is because this person would be the ideal person to do what I’m asking and I always hope they will do what I ask. Even though I should already know the answer why do I get so upset about it?
But I always wonder why I get so hurt about such incidents when I know in advance to expect them. Why should I let it bother me? Now I see the answer to my own question. It is because I expected this person to respond the same way I would have and because this person did not respond the same way I would have I get hurt. I remember learning many years ago a saying that I try to live by but it’s a very hard lesson to learn and a very hard statement to keep in practice. “If you don’t have any expectations, you won’t be disappointed.” How true is this? This is my biggest problem I have too many expectations of people. I have a very high standard of expectations from myself and I set that bar high for other folks as well. I have to learn that folks are not going to live up to my expectations. Folks are just human beings and since I do not live up to my own expectations most of the time, why should I expect other’s to do so?
I don’t know if what I’m saying makes any sense but it makes a lot of sense to me. It is a real revelation for me. Now if I can just apply it I won’t get so hurt so fast and so easily. The problem is I always want to retaliate and I know the Bible says vengeance belongs to God but I am a very vengeful person. I like to see others pay for their crimes and this is a major fault of mine and often times I take it upon myself to dish out that vengeance. Whether it is in the form of an outright argument or it’s a written letter or it’s ignoring that person and that person really has no clue what they have done because I never have the balls to explain to them that they have just hurt me. I am too hurt to calmly respond. I always react and do not respond and this is something that I have to work on. I have learned this from Joe. I have seen Joe respond in situations that I would have reacted and I would have created a scene whereas Joe handles things calm, cool and collected. I realize that this is what I was taught growing up but at 46 years old I cannot keep using that as an excuse. I need to work at this and change it. So it looks like something else I am going to need to pray about.
