Archive for November, 2009

World AIDS Day: 1 December 2009

{ 27 November 2009 @ 6:44 pm } · { Gay, Homosexuality, Life, World }
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27 November 2009

I have joined Bloggers Unite and pledged to dedicate my blog to AIDS Awareness for World AIDS Day: 1 December 2009. I don’t think I have a lot to say so I’m going to post an article from the CDC but first I did want to say a few things.

It is estimated by the CDC that about 21% of HIV/AIDS cases are undiagnosed. If you are in any of the risk categories it is imperative that you get tested. If you happen to be a carrier of the disease and are not aware of it, it is quite likely you could be unintentionally spreading the disease. Please follow the green link on the left and find a Test Center near you and get yourself tested. Know your status, ignorance is not bliss, in this case ignorance can be deadly, for you and for those you may be putting at risk.

The article that I have chosen from the CDC to publish here on my blog is called “Oral Sex Is Not Risk Free”. The reason I decided on this article is because I know there are many of us who do not think of oral sex as sex, per se. I know for myself, when I think of sex, intercourse is what comes to mind. I do not tend to think of oral sex as actually having sex. Yet, oral sex also has its risks and I believe folks need to be educated and aware that they can contract or spread the HIV/AIDS virus through oral sex.

Oral Sex Is Not Risk Free

Like all sexual activity, oral sex carries some risk of HIV transmission when one partner is known to be infected with HIV, when either partner’s HIV status is not known, and/or when one partner is not monogamous or injects drugs. Even though the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex is much lower than that of anal or vaginal sex, numerous studies have demonstrated that oral sex can result in the transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Abstaining from oral, anal, and vaginal sex altogether or having sex only with a mutually monogamous, uninfected partner are the only ways that individuals can be completely protected from the sexual transmission of HIV. However, by using condoms or other barriers between the mouth and genitals, individuals can reduce their risk of contracting HIV or another STD through oral sex.

Oral Sex is a Common Practice

Oral sex involves giving or receiving oral stimulation (i.e., sucking or licking) to the penis, the vagina, and/or the anus. Fellatio is the technical term used to describe oral contact with the penis. Cunnilingus is the technical term which describes oral contact with the vagina. Anilingus (sometimes called “rimming”) refers to oral-anal contact. Studies indicate that oral sex is commonly practiced by sexually active male-female and same-gender couples of various ages, including adolescents. Although there are only limited national data about how often adolescents engage in oral sex, some data suggest that many adolescents who engage in oral sex do not consider it to be “sex;” therefore they may use oral sex as an option to experience sex while still, in their minds, remaining abstinent. Moreover, many consider oral sex to be a safe or no-risk sexual practice. In a national survey of teens conducted for The Kaiser Family Foundation, 26% of sexually active 15- to 17-year-olds surveyed responded that one “cannot become infected with HIV by having unprotected oral sex,” and an additional 15% didn’t know whether or not one could become infected in that manner.

Oral Sex and the Risk of HIV Transmission

The risk of HIV transmission from an infected partner through oral sex is much less than the risk of HIV transmission from anal or vaginal sex. Measuring the exact risk of HIV transmission as a result of oral sex is very difficult. Additionally, because most sexually active individuals practice oral sex in addition to other forms of sex, such as vaginal and/or anal sex, when transmission occurs, it is difficult to determine whether or not it occurred as a result of oral sex or other more risky sexual activities. Finally, several co-factors may increase the risk of HIV transmission through oral sex, including: oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other STDs. What is known is that HIV has been transmitted through fellatio, cunnilingus, and anilingus.

Other STDs Can Also Be Transmitted From Oral Sex

In addition to HIV, other STDs can be transmitted through oral sex with an infected partner. Examples of these STDs include herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts (HPV), intestinal parasites (amebiasis), and hepatitis A.

Oral Sex and Reducing the Risk of HIV Transmission

The consequences of HIV infection are life-long. If treatment is not initiated in a timely manner, HIV can be extremely serious and life threatening. However, there are steps you can take to lower the risk of getting HIV from oral sex.

Generally, the use of a physical barrier during oral sex can reduce the risk of transmission of HIV and other STDs. A latex or plastic condom may be used on the penis to reduce the risk of oral-penile transmission. If your partner is a female, a cut-open condom or a dental dam can be used between your mouth and the vagina. Similarly, regardless of the sex of your partner, if your mouth will come in contact with your partner’s anus, a cut-open condom or dental dam can be used between your mouth and the anus.

At least one scientific article has suggested that plastic food wrap may be used as a barrier to protect against herpes simplex virus during oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. However, there are no data regarding the effectiveness of plastic food wrap in decreasing transmission of HIV and other STDs in this manner and it is not manufactured or approved by the FDA for this purpose.

I got this article from the CDC’s Website which can be accessed at this link www.cdc.gov/hiv/ they have plenty of other information and I highly suggest you spend some time doing some research on this horrible disease. It is not just a gay disease, it does not discriminate. Be informed, knowledge is power.

Another useful site for information is www.aids.gov

Please be informed, please play safe and please know your status.

So, for now…

Desesperado

{ 9 November 2009 @ 3:03 pm } · { Life, christianity }
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9 November 2009

I am 48 y/o and have been single my entire life. I have been in a few relationships but none that lasted for any real amount of time. I’ve had about 2 or 3 long time close friendships over the years but that’s about it. When I quit drinking and got serious about being a Christian at the age of 22 I gave up most, if not all, of my friends. And from that time forward I have basically been alone. The few long term friendships I had ended around the age of 30. So, for the past 18 years or so I have basically done it all, all alone. I do have one friend now. I think we are pretty good friends but it really is not everything that I need. He is much older than me, is married has children and grandchildren, so I get very little time with him. The few times that I really, really needed somebody to talk to or help me during a crisis, he wasn’t around and I had to wait. This was very hard. Don’t get me wrong, this man is wonderful and would give me the shirt off his back. He just has many other obligations. But through all of this I have learned that when they say no man is or can be an island, this is not true. I am and have been an island all of my life. I have nobody I can count on or turn to or lean on. Nobody that would be there in a heartbeat should I need that. I am basically in this world alone.

I do see a psychiatrist on a weekly basis. I have been seeing psychiatrists since I was 17 y/o. My current doctor has been my psychiatrist for a good 10-15 years now. He knows very little about me. He knows more about me than probably anybody else, but he knows very little. We mostly talk about current issues, current crisis’s and a little about my history and how to connect certain behaviours with incidents of my past.

I do have a few friendships/relationships online and have had several that lasted a good amount of time over the years. And I tend to be more open and honest online because I am hiding behind a screen. But none-the-less, even these friends do not really know me. They only know the parts I am willing to share.

So, what I don’t understand is for a few years there in my early-mid 40’s I did go through a mid-life crisis and I think that is pretty much over with. But I have reached another landmark in my life and I honestly do not know where to turn. I have questions about life that I need answered. I have questions about God, religion, my faith, life especially my life in particular and I cannot for the life of me find one person I can turn to.

I have been very upset these past few days and especially after the sermon on Sunday morning this week. I cried a little at church but tried to hide it because I obviously did not want anybody to see me. But here alone I am very lachrymose and quite lugubrious.

I sent out a desperate email yesterday but, as usual, it either wasn’t taken seriously or it wasn’t known how to be handled. So, it looks like it just got ignored or pushed under the carpet as all my problems do with folks.

This really makes me feel like I am insignificant, invisible and unwanted. I have tried to engage two Christians who I thought could help me but neither seem very interested and the subject has been dropped. I cannot talk to my friend about this and I cannot go to my pastor because he doesn’t like me.

What I want to know is; where is God? He obviously knows all that is going on. He knows my needs, desires, wants and wishes. Yet, He has left me as an island my entire life and He’s not even there for me. Then, I often have to wonder why is it wrong if I end it all? I have tried many times, but obviously none were successful. It’s like I was created to do all this alone and I am being forced to live this life, like it or not. To be quite honest, I am not looking forward to eternity. I know, because it’s what I believe, that we live forever. Either eternally in hell or eternally in heaven but I honestly don’t want either. And obviously, since I believe this way I hope to spend it in heaven, but that just is not appealing to me. I don’t want it. I just want everything to end. It will never end. I can’t grasp that. I can’t comprehend that. I can’t fathom that. It will never end.

So, for now…